Today marks the completion of the first week of my weight loss journey. It was not the most successful and productive week but I did it. You see, I’m really struggling with binge eating.
Full disclosure: It has taken me 3 weeks to start the first week of my healthy lifestyle and write this post.
Three weeks of trying to start and then quickly abandoning ship when I realized I was going to have to cut back on carbs and dairy.
I mean bread, potatoes, ice cream, and cheese are some of my favorite things!! They’re my main food groups! How can I cut back on them or even, dare I say, start to give them up? Insanity.
Needless to say, every Monday for the past three weeks I would wake up half motivated, miss my work out, half ass my diet, and then give up because I wasn’t committed enough.
By Wednesday of each week I was back in the rut I’ve been in for months feeling sorry for myself as I continually ate myself sick during almost every meal of the day.
You might also like:
(Re)starting My Health Journey (Stephanie’s Journey)
The Importance of Setting Up A Daily Wellness Routine
How To Get Back Into Working Out After A Long Break
Struggling With Binge Eating
It has brought me to the conclusion that getting started really is the hardest part. Even after I wrote about how to get back into working out and how to stay there, I fell off the bandwagon and stayed there each week.
It is so much easier to talk the talk then it is to walk the walk. Still, it is time I start to take those baby steps back in to healthy habits.
These repeated relapses have lead me to ask myself what I am so afraid of?
What will leading a healthier lifestyle take away from me?
What will I lose if I give up some things that aren’t good for me anyways?
I racked my brain morning, noon, and night trying to figure out why the second I try to get started my brain would turn against me and I would binge more feverishly then I ever had before.
When even the smallest shadow of a thought about changing my lifestyle came through my brain, it would cause my body to go into a binge revolt. I was in utter chaos inside and out.
But then I found hope!
I knew something had to give. That’s when, during one of my binges where I lay dormant on the couch with a bag of chips in my lap and my phone in my hand, I came across a glimmer of hope.
I’m not big into watching Instagram stories but on this day, when the “All Caught Up” tagline came across my Instagram news feed, I decided to watch those stories since I had apparently caught up on everything else.
While flipping through mindlessly, one of the accounts I follow had an article interviewing Glenn Linvingstin, a guy who apparently had the secret to never bingeing again. I was more than intrigued seeing my current state.
I swiped up and read the article. Could this guy have really cracked the code on why we binge and how to stop it?? I had to find out!
So, during the last three weeks I’ve been reading the book by Glenn Livingston, PhD called ‘Never Binge Again’ in hopes of helping myself answer my questions and get back on track.
If you’re anything like me and have a big issue with binge eating or making poor food choices when you know you should have a salad – or even constantly choosing snooze over a morning workout – this book is for you! And guess what, it is free! (We all know how I love free stuff).
This book has really helped me to get a grip on my cravings and my snoozing habits in order to keep myself on track.
It’s only been a week but, through Dr. Livingston’s methods, I am better able to say no when almost every other time I would have said yes to every opportunity I had to eat what he calls ‘pig slop’. I honestly feel empowered to make the right choices.
How has his book helped me? His book focuses on giving our bingeing selves an identity and then, with a trick of the mind, locking that alter ego binger up so that we never binge again. It is a fascinating concept that seems to really work for me.
He helped me answer my questions. The part of us that binges, the ‘Pig’ as he calls it, is the one that survives through our binges.
The Pig is afraid to lose out on its Pig slop.
He really hit home when he said that by locking up the Pig today, we open up a world of possibilities for our future.
It really help remind me that by saying no today I will be able to say yes to a healthy future and finally hit all of the goals I’ve been dreaming of my whole life. Which I think sounds way better than all of the bread, ice cream, potatoes and cheese in the whole world.
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, right?
But, like I said, I am just starting out on this long journey.
However, I’m not as afraid as I was before. I’m more excited and empowered than anything.
Sometimes I feel discouraged when I see myself in the mirror and remember the amazing body I had when I thought I was fat(ugh! Was I an idiot in college). But, instead of dwelling on yesteryear I am so excited to see my body restored to its former glory.
The start of my health journey.
I am currently starting at 204 lbs, the heaviest I’ve been since middle school. I can’t even count the times in the past 4 years I’ve gone over 200 lbs and then gotten back under swearing to never go over again.
My biggest struggle since retiring as an athlete has been putting in a healthy eating plan and workout regiment and sticking to them.
Playing sports in college enabled me to eat almost whatever I wanted and not gain weight since I was running my ass off for 2 hours every single day of the week. Back then, working out wasn’t a choice.
This is something I am trying to incorporate now, the idea of having to work out over just choosing to because, honestly, I have not been choosing to workout at all.
My goal is to use what I’ve learned from Never Binge Again to create my eating plan. I took some time the other day and wrote out the foods I can enjoy without guilt, what I can have on special occasions, and what I can never eat again.
Thinking that there are foods that I will never eat again scares me but then I remember how worth it it will be.
For my workout plan, I will be running 4 days a week. 3-4 miles on Tuesdays and Thursdays, hills on Wednesdays, and distance on Saturdays.
I will be strength training on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays to help build the muscles I’ll need to run.
Over the next 8 months I am signed up for 3 races. I’m hoping it help motivate me to stay on track.
My ultimate goal is to reach my goal weight of 150 lbs by the Disney Princess half marathon in February. To do this I would need to lose 2.5 lbs a week for the next 18 weeks.
God give me strength!
I’m also excited to take you all on this journey with me as I lock up my inner Pig and navigate the ups and downs of my weight loss journey.